Whats the difference between Confident and Cocky?

We tend to be who we think we are. Which is both amazingly beautiful and at the same time one of life’s greatest curses. So much potential is never realised because of self-doubt and poor self-esteem.? On the other hand, we have people full of confidence and self-assurance that often comes across as cocky, arrogant and almost delusional. I tend to swing both ways and I’m unsure if I’m really getting results either way.

There was some decent sized swell that came through yesterday, and me wanting to both enjoy it and be a good surfer paddled out thinking I was Mark Mathews. I had a bad session, not catching any waves. I know I could have surfed these waves on a good day but what was it that stopped me this time? Was it my over confidence or my actual incapability?

Perhaps it was my desire to be good. My attachment to the outcome. Although these thoughts of? “be a good surfer” were not running through my head as I drop into a wave, they are sub-conciously there, distracting my focus from being ‘in the moment’ or ‘in the zone’.

A similar experience the day before in Yoga. I want to be good at yoga. I was so attached to this outcome that I was not focusing on the moment, The result was a fall from a headstand and pinching a nerve in my shoulder.?On both these occasions, I went into the situation full of confidence and came out battered, beaten and feeling like I can’t do anything.

As I wrote the heading of this writing, I had assumed that it was my over-confidence that was getting in the road and that being humble and self-depreciating would take me to new heights. But after a page of reflection, it seems the issue is in fact my internal attachement to how I want things to be or how I think they should be.

What is the difference between confidence and cocky?

I would say intention and motive. What are ones motivations? If they are driven by external factors such as concern of what others think, rather than internal commitment, then it is likely to come out as cocky because it is more of a show. The intention is focused on displaying or showcasing confidence to others rather than being free from such concern of what people might think and allowing ones full attention to be focused on the moment. The confidence is a natural reflection rathe than a manufactured presentation.

The difference is attachment vs non-attachment.

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